| ABOUT NEEORAY
Hi there! Neeoray is my personal artistic alias, Ray for short.
I'm the author of The Neeostar Project and its sole developer.
My primary specialty is digital art, though I study and practice a wide range of various arts: digital & traditional pictorial art, photography & videography, animation, design, music, game development and some others.
No special education. I'm a self-taught enthusiast in each of the listed areas and do my best to improve my skills and get closer to a professional level, bit by bit with every work I make.
Non-binary person: agender (any pronouns) and demi.
Non-religious humanist and pro-science. No identities regarding ethnicity and nationality.
I was born on the 6th of November, 1998. Shortly after that, my father disappeared while my mother couldn't sustain me, so I lived in a state orphanage until around 4 years old when I was taken under guardianship by a pre-retired couple. They weren't quite ready for it and my life was somewhat harsh at times, though I'm grateful since they did what they could in their own way.
I spent my entire childhood in a small town surrounded by boreal forest. On the one hand, I've learned to admire the charm of nature and to beware of its dangers, and to find patient tranquillity in solitude. On the other hand, I've missed many exciting experiences and my scarce joyful impressions were overshadowed by tension, confusion and distress.
Eventually, I've found my escape in art to which I always had an affinity. Traditional drawing was partly replaced by experiments in 3D graphics when I've got my first computer in 2011, then two years later I've started my photography hobby. It took me a couple of years more to start making relatively good CGI sceneries and to acquire my first decent photographs. Music experiments and digital painting were added to my hobbies in 2016.
The same year I graduated from school and moved to the nearby city where I was supposed to get a bachelor degree. However, a lot of things went wrong for various reasons, causing my longstanding psychological struggles to fully manifest themselves. Even though I managed to avoid conscription in order to stop the issues from escalating, my life became a mess of isolation, poverty and uncertainty for a few years.
No matter what, I kept practicing all kinds of arts I could reach. Striving to figure out my way in life, I realized that popular solutions don't quite work for me, at least not in this country. Thankfully, in 2017 I've met someone special who since then has always been there for me, providing emotional and financial support when I needed it the most. Of course, now I return the favour by doing the same for him when he needs it.
At the beginning of 2020, I've finally discovered a way to make money by doing commissions. It wasn't much, though by the end of the year my savings allowed my partner and me to rent better housing and live together. We are about the same age and both just started our adult lives, but to ensure our future, we must take matters into our own hands and emigrate from our current country (see Plans below).
At different periods of my life I was interested in various beliefs and philosophies, including some exotic ones. Over the years of seeking, I've come to a general principle that I call non-religious humanism. I do not profess any religion, but I don't call myself an atheist or agnostic, and humanism stands for a universal ethical approach to avoid causing harm of any kind where possible.
I'm highly interested in natural sciences such as astronomy, physics, biology and others. One of the most important parts of the scientific approach is to make precise conclusions based on sufficient amounts of relevant data (simply speaking). I try to follow this approach in my everyday life where applicable to get rid of any biases, prejudices and other unfounded or simply wrong ideas.
I also practice "informational hygiene", the essence of which is to exclude any redundant, unnecessary and distracting sources from my informational environment. Thus, I stay away from television and news sites, refrain from aimlessly browsing social media, do not engage in pointless internet arguing and etcetera. I work slowly and often find it hard to focus, so this practice helps me plenty to improve productivity.
Being non-binary means that I consider human identities to be a dynamic spectrum rather than a constant predetermined by biological sex. Being agender means that I do not follow any particular gender roles, even though my biological sex is male. Being demi means that to feel an actual sexual and romantic attraction towards a person, we must be mentally compatible, match each other's preferences and mutually establish a close emotional connection.
I wish I had regular plans that a person of my age could have. Instead, my partner and I must find a way to leave our country of origin.
The government here considers that we (non-hetero people) don't deserve equal rights and social acceptance, and widely promotes hostile opinions through mass media. Sadly, the majority of the population here approves this kind of attitude and demonstrates it both in words and actions.
Vulnerability and stigma make it extra difficult to work, study and even just to live here. In order to feel safer, my partner and I have to be reclusive and hide our identities and relationship almost from everyone. As soon as we realized that the situation is not going to get better anytime soon, we decided to stop wasting our years of youth being in social segregation.
Just in case, I don't say in public which country we are going to leave. But where are we going to move to? Canada, probably Alberta! It's our best option and we are very determined to get there one way or another. I've been researching this topic since March 2021 and believe we have a chance. There is nothing for us to lose and nothing keeps us here, so our main goal now is to save enough money and migrate as soon as possible.
I hope our lives will get better once we are safe. Adaptation is not expected to be a big problem since we are preparing beforehand and making good progress in learning English. And thanks to the internet, we can already make Canadian friends and acquaintances! Lately I'm daydreaming a lot about hanging out with friends, visiting cool places, seeing mountains and other rather simple stuff that I'm yet to experience.
I'm going to catch up with everything I had to miss, though it's not just about leisure activities. In a more developed and friendly environment I could get a formal education if needed, make a career in arts and become more productive in general. I want to participate in projects that are both aesthetic and socially valuable, make my contribution to culture, help to develop community and improve our habitat with what I can.
Thanks for reading! Feel free to contact me on TELEGRAM (@neeoray) or DISCORD (neeoray#1996) if you have any questions or suggestions.
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